


Living in Color

by same



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Dies, Depressed Dean, Depression, Human Castiel, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Dean, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 14:14:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6569413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/same/pseuds/same
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel meet and both are color blind. Slowly, as the get to know eachother, they both can see colors. Cas get a new job and things don't work out for Castiel or Dean. Dean eventually goes crazy. Also maybe a smut chapter.{ I apologize that I'm not good at summarizing this, but trust me it's not a terrible fic.}</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living in Color

“Castiel! Get back out there! I’m not paying you to be on your phone!” Castiel’s boss, Brenda, screeched at him. He nodded at her and put his phone in the pocket of his apron. He only had ten minutes until his shift was over. He went out into the small dining area of the coffee shop, he then proceeded to ask the order of a lovely older couple. After he brought them their drinks he waited a few minutes and brought them their bill.

“Brenda I’m going to head out now!” Castiel called as he was slipping a tan trench coat onto his shoulders. He didn’t hear Brenda’s reply as he stepped out into the crisp autumn air outside of the quaint shop. Leaves whisked around his feet as he walked to his apartment that he shared with his girlfriend. 

Castiel watched the different grays, blacks, and whites of his world pass by. Castiel had been color blind since birth. No one knew why, but then again no one wondered ethier. Castiel was forgotten in a mess of brothers and sisters. Everyone tried to explain colors to him but that was a thing that was hard to do. So, Castiel lived without color. It didn’t bother him because he was never one to know life with color.

Castiel’s keys jangled in the wind when he took them out to unlock the door. As he walked in Clara, his girlfriend and housemate, was waiting for him on the couch. It made him concerned but he didn’t want to make assumptions. Clara patted the couch next to her, telling him to sit down. So, he walked over and took a seat.

“Castiel,” Clara sighed brushing her hair away from her tear stained cheeks, “Are you gay?” Castiel stared at her with wide eyes. He didn’t know what to say. 

“No, why would you think that?” Castiel was absolutely puzzled. He wasn’t gay, but he also wasn’t straight.

“I don’t know Cass maybe because you told your brother that you like men,” Clara cried. A new wave of tears cascaded down her cheeks. Castiel reached out to wipe them from her cheeks, but she shook head and pushed his hands away. 

“I’m sorry. Clara, I thought you were asleep. I wanted to tell you myself that I was, I am, bisexual,” Castiel uttered. Shock was as noticeable on his face as tears were in Clara’s eyes.

“Cass, I can’t do this. I can’t be with someone like you. I’m leaving tonight. I already packed my bags. I’m going to stay at my sister’s house. Goodbye, Castiel,” Clara spoke to him as if he was an injured animal. She stood for the couch, and placed a kiss on his forehead. She gathered her things, leaving him broken on the couch. There he sat for a hour or two, his face in his hands.

When Castiel woke up the next morning he was asleep on the couch. What happened last night was whispering in his ears like a pesky mosquito. When he walked into the bathroom to shower he glanced into the mirror. His cheeks were stained with tears and red. His eyes had bags under them. He felt as if his whole body was sagging with sadness.

“Castiel, are you okay?” the redhead asked biting her lip. Castiel didn’t really feel like talking about this. So, he nodded his head lightly. 

“Yeah Charles,” Castiel responded. He saw a man walk in and Charles had her hands full with every other person in the shop. So he went to go and take the man’s order. 

“Hello sir,what can I get yo-” Castiel was saying but as soon as he made eye contact he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away. The man’s eyes suddenly weren’t any of the colors Castiel was used to. They were bright and beautiful. The light filtered through them in a way Castiel found made the man look very beautiful. The man had a similar look of wonder on his face. 

“Um, I’m Castiel. I’ll be your waiter today,” Castiel stuttered. 

“I’m Dean,” Dean, the man with the colorful eyes replied. Dean was biting his lip and staring at Cas. Dean was surprised to see that Castiel’s eyes were a bright blue color he hadn’t seen since before his mother died. 

“Wh-what would you like to drink?”Castiel asked.

“A black coffee please,” It had been a few minutes since Castiel asked Dean what he wanted to drink. Dean hadn't been ignoring Castiel, he didn't even know Castiel said anything. Dean had been too busy staring at Castiel’s eyes.

After Dean had taken his time to drink his coffee and have a slice of pie he walked out of the diner. Dean was biting his lip and his eyebrows were furrowed together in thought. He was confused, but intrigued. That man’s eyes were the brightest blue he had ever seen, or that he could remember at least. No one knew why Dean had gone color blind when he was three. His parents didn’t know why, and neither did the doctors. After a while they stopped trying to figure it out. 

Dean’s grandmother always said it was because his soulmate had been born. Everyone thought she was crazy. When Dean was little he believed her. He would run around the park and ask every boy he knew if they could see color. He stopped looking for his soulmate when he was twelve and his father told him it was ridiculous. 

When Dean was 16 he was kicked out for telling his dad he wanted to be a guy. Dean was born a girl. Before Dean was Dean, he was Jenna. He used to be a she. The only person who supported Dean was his brother. Sam was a lawyer now, he went to harvard law and married a beautiful girl named Jessica.

Dean walked down the street thinking about Castiel’s eyes. He wished he would have asked him to talk, or something. Dean didn’t really know what he would say to Castiel if he had asked to talk.

‘Hey! Did you know that your eyes are the only colorful thing I’ve seen since I was three? Let’s be friends so I can stare at your eyes.’ Dean chuckled to himself. 

“Sir! Um, Dean! Dean you left your credit card on the table!” Dean turned around to see Castiel running down the street waving his hands in the air and screaming at Dean. Dean started walking toward Castiel.

“Thank you,” Dean chuckled when he reached the other man. Dean was debating saying something about the man’s eyes. He would have if Castiel hadn’t beat him to it.

“Your eyes are amazing by the way,” Castiel stuttered. He suddenly felt awkward. He felt like he shouldn’t have said anything to Dean. He felt his ears grow warm. 

“Your’s too,” Dean sighed happily. He was upset and happy that Castiel had said something. He laughed lightly and smiled at Castiel.

Castiel walked away and Dean got into his own car. They went their different ways for the day. Both thinking about the other. Both of their heads spinning in confusion. 

“Babe, I’m home!” Castiel called when he walked in the door. 

“Oh, right. I’m single,” Castiel uttered to himself. Then he burst out laughing and tears fell down his face. So many emotions were rushing through him. He felt as though someone turned on his emotional faucet and it all was coming out of his eyes. He walked into the bedroom. He could smell Clara’s perfume lingering in the room. The smell that he loved so much was only a whisper. 

Castiel gripped Clara’s pillow to his chest. He sat there and thought. He thought about how he would forget how she smelt, he would forget her laugh, her smile, the color of her eyes, how her hugs and kisses always made him feel better. Then somehow, all together, then all at once, he would forget her.

When Dean got to the motel he was staying in he took off his binder. He sighed as the pressure was released from his ribs and chest. It was one that Jess gave him for Christmas. Jess only gave him one because the ace bandages Dean was using before broke one of his ribs. Dean hadn’t been able to afford top surgery. Dean sat down on the bed thinking about his family, himself, and maybe, just maybe, Castiel.

When Castiel walked into work the next morning he was surprised to see Dean sitting at one of the tables in the back. Castiel put on his apron. He was about to go serve someone else when Dean caught his gaze. Before Castiel could stop himself he was walking over to the table Dean was sitting at and sitting down at the table with him.

“Hey.” Dean nodded when Castiel sat down. As soon as Castiel sitting across from Dean he couldn’t look away from Dean’s eyes. For whatever reason Castiel felt drawn to Dean, and Dean felt drawn to Castiel.

“Hi.” Castiel sighed. Dean’s fascinated eyes tracked Castiel’s every move. The way Castiel’s fingers tapped nervously on the table. How Castiel was chewing on his bottom lip nervously. Dean watched Castiel’s bright, beautiful, exciting eyes trying to see every centimeter of Dean’s own eyes. When Castiel’s eyes were staring at Dean, Dean almost felt tiny, but Castiel’s eyes were also soft and welcoming. Castiel’s eyes reminded Dean of a picture of the pacific ocean, he had seen the picture in one of his mother’s magazines. Castiel’s eyes also reminded Dean of a terribly, beautiful, stormy sky.

“I’m sorry for this, for coming here again. If I’m bothering you just tell me, and I’ll be on my way. I just had to see your eyes again, make sure that it wasn’t a dream.” Dean tumbled over his words a bit as he was saying them, but, to Castiel, Dean sounded more confident than he could ever be.  
“No, not at all. Please, stay.” Castiel replied, maybe a little too soon. Castiel blushed like a little girl whose secret crush had just been told to everyone. Dean chuckled lightly and grinned at Castiel.

“Okay, I’ll stay a little longer. I might just come back tomorrow too.” Dean joked laughing slightly. Castiel relaxed a little and smiled at Dean. 

After about five minutes Castiel apologized for having to go back to work. At first he didn’t notice it, but on his way back to his position behind the counter, Castiel could see the light yellow wallpaper, gold rings and necklaces, and blonde pony tails or braids. Dean could suddenly see the dark brown of his jacket, the deep chocolatey color of the table, and when he was glancing at his feet he could see a shade of brown-ish, black-ish on his shoe laces.

When Castiel noticed the shades of yellow around him he looked over to Dean, and sure enough his hair was a mixture of the different yellows. Dean’s hair was somehow better that the yellows on their own, it was just about perfect.

Dean looked up when he felt a pair of eyes on him. It was Castiel, and his bright blue eyes. Now Dean could see all of the browns together. Dean wanted to run up to Castiel and run his fingers through his hair, make sure it was really happening. Of course Dean did not run to Castiel and assault his hair with fingers. Instead of getting closer to Castiel, he got farther away. Dean dropped a few bills onto the table as he exited the small building.

Dean did come back the next day, and the next, and this continued for another week or two. Castiel and Dean became close friends over the next month and three days, but who was counting? The answer is Castiel, Castiel was counting every day he was with this colorful man.

One night Dean and Castiel had been out at a bar and had too much to drink. Castiel dragged Dean to the closest Walmart, which wasn’t very far at all, and had him get hair dye. Castiel joked about dying all of Dean’s hair puke green. Dean would laugh and playfully punch Castiel’s arm.

Once they were back to Castiel’s apartment they put old towels all over the bathroom floor. Dean, who was less drunk than Castiel, got bleach and silvery pink dye ready for a piece of Castiel’s hair. 

Dean sat in front of Castiel, both men were sitting with their legs crossed under them with both knees touching. Dean put on gloves and smiled. He put bleach in two pieces of hair next to Castiel’s face. Dean spiked them up so Castiel looked like a goat. 

Then while they were waiting for the bleach to work they sat and talked. Not really fully aware of what they were saying. They would lean into each other while they were laughing and when they weren’t. They put their foreheads together and the their noses squished together.

“Hey, guess what?” Castiel whispered giggling a bit. Castiel had his eyes closed and a happy smile was dancing on his face. This was the moment a slightly drunk Dean fell in love with a very drunk Castiel.

“What?” Dean asked curiously, pursing his lips slightly. He didn’t notice Castiel leaning in until their lips were almost touching.

“I think I love you.” Castiel giggled softly. He felt Dean raise an eyebrow against his forehead. They sat there for a couple minutes, while Dean giggled, Castiel was freaking out. 

“Well then, lover boy, I think that I love you too.” As Dean whispered he slowly leaned closer to Castiel; When he spoke his lips brushed against Castiel’s lips.

Castiel put his hand at the base of Dean’s neck and pulled him into a sloppy kiss. Dean took his arm and pushed aside the paint cans, as he eased Castiel onto the floor. The they stayed there tangled up in each other for the rest of the night, on Castiel’s bathroom floor. In that moment, the weight of the world was lifted off their shoulder, and they were very content.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was just chapter 1. I don't know if I'm going to do any more chapters anytime soon. It took me a while to get this typed up. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it! I hoenestly don't know what I was doing when I wrote this I'm sorry.


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